2002-11-04 - 3:16 PM

It seems as though that you can diverge farther and farther away from something while still ending up the same, as opposite sides of a spectrum is not change. It even seems as though you can diverge from a point only slightly, but it is only when you are the polar opposite of it you are the most alike. Given this, I have to believe that while currently at a period of general business I am still the same as when I lapsed in a lag of extreme inactivity. The same, although exactly opposite. Here, now. It is like a parabola, each seperate ends the complete opposites of one another. When the parabola rises into its exquisite arc, the idea in question is beginning to change, to fall onto the other side of the parabala, the exact opposite, in which the two are most alike. On, off. Up, down. The same, just reversed. The peak of the parabola is where the object or idea in question is least like the original object or idea. At this point, it is diverged so far as to become an almost different idea, before its transition (or descent, to continue the parabola model) into its opposite. At this point, the object or idea has gained identity, has realized what makes it up and what does not, which sets it apart from the original because the original has not yet begun to look as far as to see that other things exist beyond it. At the initial point of differentiation, the object or idea is beginning to realize this and this alone sets it farther apart than it could be being just the opposite of the idea. This model can be used to explain why I feel both exhausted and eerily awake most of the time. It is as if I cannot keep my eyes open...or closed. Both opposites exist on the same plane. They do not negate each other, somehow, but balance in such a way that both are felt in a unique form of sleepiness or wakefulness, one that cannot be discerned from one or the other.