2004-11-07 - 11:42 p.m.

I can't relax unless I feel as if I am actively accomplishing something, even if I'm not.

Today: half-asleep, reading books, barely leaving my room, throwing a beer bottle at the wall and watching it fly rather gracefully into the trash can, making a dent in the wall right next to the one Rubin put there in the same exact way. Loud music and endless parades of people; happiness is a loaded gun and a reason to use it.